Laughing at the Seder with Shmiel

Rabbi Samuel Klein z"l

My late father-in-law, Rabbi Samuel Klein z"l, loved Pesach. Whether relishing the task of grating a huge Ball mason jar of horseradish (while wrapping his head in saran-wrap to keep his eyes from tearing), or adding all of Hagaddah commentaries and notes that his children -- my wife and her 3 brothers -- would interject (humorously) from memory (eg, the polemic), the sedarim at the Klein house were always an event. My favorite part of each seder was the inevitable crescendo of the evening... following Hallel, where the songs, harmonies, and family antics would reach their zenith with our singing of Chad Gadyoh -- using a tune that my friend Stuart R. tells me was an old Catskills Yiddish theater tune. After the musical debasement of the "little goat" was when the real fun would begin... usually instigated by my brother-in-law, Mordecai. His antics -- although not always appreciated by Shmiel -- were (and continue to be) the icing on our Klein-Singer Pesachdic yomtov cake.

While looking with my mother-in-law, Sydelle, through some old files and sermons on Shmiel's laptop, she and I came across the article below... actual typos from church bulletins. (After more than three decades at Chicago's Ner Tamid Congregation, my father-in-law authored and received more than his fair share of shul bulletins.) I remember when Shmiel first read it to us at the table... laughing to tears as he tried to read it aloud. With that sense of humor -- and joy -- we're returning again to the Seder... to sheb nachas at the enthusiasm of our children as they learn to love learning (and teaching) what is so special about being part of Am Yisrael. Their giddy excitement is Shmiel's giddy excitement. Plain and simple.

Perhaps during your Seder, during an appropriate Shulchan Orech break, you might read these annoucements and think of Shmiel... laughing and enjoying his family as you enjoy yours.

(N.B. The announcements are very funny, but you may want to read them first to see if any might be inappropriate for younger ears.)

1.   The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

2.   Evening massage - 6 p.m.

3.   The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

4.   The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

5.   Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.

6.   Ushers will eat latecomers.

7.   The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

8.   For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

9.   The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

10.   The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."

11.   During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

12.   Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."

13.   Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.

14.   Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

15.   The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.

16.   Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

17.   The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

18.   The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

19.   22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

20.   A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.

21.   Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.

22.   Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?"

23.   Hymn 47: "Hark! an awful voice is sounding"

24.   On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: G-D IS GOOD Dr. Hargreaves is better.

25.   Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

26.   Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

27.   The 1997 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.

28.   Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.

29.   This afternoon, there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

30.   Tuesday, at 4pm, there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk come early.

31.   Wednesday the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Johnson will sing, "Put Me In My Little Bed," accompanied by the pastor.

32.   Thursday, at 5pm, there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be Little Mothers please meet with the pastor in his study.

33.   This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Johnson to come forward and lay an egg at the alter.

34.   The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.

35.   One Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the expenses of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet, come forward and get a piece of paper.

36.   The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement on Friday afternoon.

37.   A bean supper will be held on Saturday evening in the church basement. Music will follow.

38.   The rosebud on the alter this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Belzer.

39.   For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

40.   Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

41.   Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

42.   Don't let worry kill you off--Let the church help.

43.   Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

44.   Tonights sermon: "What is hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

45.   Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

46.   Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

47.   Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It is a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don’t forget your husbands.

49.  The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

50.   Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All women are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.